Thursday, August 5, 2010

How do you say "yes" or "no" when you wanna be on both sides of life?

I have always been on the confused side of life, have always wanted a little bit of everything.whether it is being an astronaut or a painter or a musician. I want to be a part of everything.I Can never make a decision between 2 flavours of icecream or 2 of my favourite dresses. Most of the times i end taking both or none ( doesn seem fair to leave only one of my favourites behind you see! ).
When it is about material things, it really doesn matter if you choose one or the other. But what if a person who by default cannot make a decision, is forced to make life altering decisions? What if the decision affects the people you love. How do u pick one from the other when you love them all equally?would you listen to your heart or would u just decide logically?

family or love, career or love , family or career , life or death , good or bad, chocolate or coffee? ;)

Here is what I do, i think and think and think and at the end of each day end up at the start. trust me it never helps!

In all of this mess unfortunately the only one at loss from both sides is YOU and making a decision means that you can never have both, no matter how much you love each one of them.

Should we just be mere spectators and let the events unfold and resign ourselves to the future? Or should we have the courage to actually make these decisions and be ready to face the consequences of our actions? Or should we just aim for a middle path where no one is ecstatic but all of us are content? I wish there was a correct answer, but unfortunately i haven't found one.

I'll never know what its like to be in the shoes of someone who can make decisions on the fly and have the courage to face the future. And of course........ i envy all of you who can do that!

Monday, November 30, 2009

A trip down to the market

Remember the time when trees, cars, buses, buildings , fields were passing you by, while you just sat there in a car lost in your own thoughts engrossed in a land far far away . Looking through the window, staring blankly at the vast fields you recollect the tiniest spark of happiness when a child smiled at you for no reason or the time when you were made to stand up on the bench in front of the whole class or even the gravest of the incident of your life, you sit there facing the world outside and yet lost completely within yourself.

Just close your eyes for a moment and look back, it is precisely these moments from when you can remember the hue of the flowers and the state of the leaves that passed you by, you remember the mood your family was in when the flowers were blooming you remember the exact words with which your mom described the necklace she saw in the jewellery store. All this when you were not even paying attention to your surroundings. It is this surreal feeling of being in two parallel worlds at once that makes even a trip down to the market so magical. it is in these moments , where you are so lost and yet so connected to your mummy ,papa and your lil brother. You snap at them if they try to pull you out of your train of thoughts and immediately you regret it and yet you are too proud to say apologize, You didn’t want to be rude, you just wanted to BE in the moment. It is this journey which you wish would never end because this FEELING and your THOUGHTS, everything will be replaced by the mundane tasks of your real life.

I have always believed that the journey is always more special than the destination. Don’t believe me?

Just ask yourself,How many times or for how long do you actually remember the forts and the gardens that you have seen on a trip? Don’t you remember the time when you would coax n coax your papa to take you to the balloon wallah ,the balloon would always be an excuse, didn’t u just love going in his car for a ride n be thrilled to look at the city outside the window and ask a million curious questions to mummy? Don’t you remember how excited you were to go to the Himalayas? don’t you remember how much fun it was to play a silly game with ur brother in the car? How about the time when the journey was a million times more beautiful than the destination? And when it was your first journey with someone special, didn't you just enjoy being with that special person, not caring where your destination was and longing that the journey would never end? If you just give it a little thought you’l see that journeys with the people you love are the most beautiful memories ever. These journeys are the ones that you long for when you sip your coffee on a Sunday afternoon looking outside the window of your apartment wishing and longing that dad would take you out for ice cream in his car again.

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